I almost didn’t post today. I’ve been feeling hollow and shallow lately, which makes me want to seek out equally hollow and shallow things, which of course, keeps me in an endless loop of icky energy.
In a last-ditch effort for inspiration, I came across something I wrote a while back. It’s about listening, and it felt even more potent to me now, as I try to tune into something that lands a bit further from the surface of me.
It’s something I wrote after a student asked me if there is a ‘best practice’ of those I teach. My response was that it entirely depends on the person.
Mindful movement for those who can’t sit still. Seated meditation for those who can. Breath work for an unsettled mind. Body scans for emotional turbulence. Introspection for those who love to sort and wonder. Rest for busy bodies. Nature for everyone…The beautiful thing about you, is that you’re a different person every day and moment to moment, which means your practice must shift to meet your needs.
So, if I were to narrow it down to one practice, I’d say it’s listening.
The key is listening to yourself, and asking often: what is it that you need now, darling? How can I serve you? How can I tune in? How can I tend to you with care? The best practice for you is the one that calls to you in the moment.
And yet, lately I’ve been met with a deep desire to escape the moment with nowhere to go, so ironically, I keep trying to escape into areas that keep me feeling…stuck. It kind of feels like what I imagine being stuck in quicksand might feel like. I’m struggling to get away from the noise of the world, but the more I struggle, the further I sink.
And so finally, I just softened and allowed myself to feel the discomfort of the moment. I noticed the tightness in my shoulders, the lump in my throat, the agitation in my belly…then I noticed my own resistance to all of it, and softened to that, also.
It didn’t change the world, but I was able to breathe a little deeper and find enough space to see a little clearer. And the clarity reminded me that our inner worlds are vast and deep and full of hope and creativity and promise.
I know it’s easy to forget that you have an entire universe in you, but you do.
Have you visited lately? Have you watched your breath from top to bottom? Have you tuned into touch, sound, taste, sight, and smell lately? Have you engaged in a favorite hobby or activity recently? Have you laughed or cried? Have you spent time outside? These are all portals to the most Divine part of you and remind you who you are.
If you’d like a bit of support as you slip into the quiet spaces in yourself, you’re welcome to tune into my little video check-in below. If you’re pressed for time and need to skip the introduction, the guided mindfulness practice starts around the 8-minute mark.
May it be of benefit.
Always only love,
e.
Reading your article is one of my favorite activities, Emily. You still showed up no matter how hollow you felt. For that, I respect you dearly.
All of what you've written rings true. So often we resist our negative feelings, we want to push them away and feel good again. But accepting them makes everything easier and helps us get through them.